Dear Friends:
My Facebook “Memories” reminded me this morning that it was three years ago today according to the secular calendar that my father passed away. (Since I observe his yahrtzeit according to the Hebrew calendar and because there have been other things going on in the world, I had not realized that today was the anniversary of his death until Facebook reminded me.)
For the last few weeks of his life my Dad wasn’t really able to speak, and so my last coherent conversation with him was some time in September of 2021. He was very upset because he had been watching coverage of the US withdrawal from Afghanistan and the people who had worked with the Americans desperately trying to get onto American planes leaving Kabul, even trying to grab onto their wings as they took off. He said that he was so upset because “when I look at those poor people, I see us.” My Dad was born in 1929 and he was old enough to remember Jews desperately trying to get out of Europe, and his parents, aunts and uncles worrying about siblings and cousins left behind and wondering what had become of them.
“When I look at those poor people, I see us” is a paraphrase of Exodus 23:9: Do not oppress a foreigner; you yourselves know how it feels to be foreigners, because you were foreigners in Egypt. . . .וְגֵ֖ר לֹ֣א תִלְחָ֑ץ וְאַתֶּ֗ם יְדַעְתֶּם֙ אֶת־נֶ֣פֶשׁ הַגֵּ֔ר כִּֽי־גֵרִ֥ים הֱיִיתֶ֖ם בְּאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃ . The ability to see ourselves in others, to understand what it would feel like if we were in their place, is what we mean by the word “empathy.”
If the Kehilat Shalom community is reflective of the larger American Jewish community -- and there is no reason to assume that it is not -- there is a 3 in 4 chance that yesterday’s election results disappointed you and and a 1 in 4 chance that you were pleased. But regardless of where you place yourself in the political spectrum, I want to encourage you to have empathy. How would you feel if you were a trans kid in high school, a DACA recipient who was brought here as an infant and knows no language other than English and no country other than the United States, a young woman with an ectopic pregnancy at risk of dying because no doctor anywhere near where she lives will give her the care she needs for fear of facing arrest and prosecution? But also, how would you feel if you were descended from generations of coal miners and had lost your job because of environmental concerns? Or someone simply bewildered at the rapidity of social change and the fact that things which not so long ago were unthinkable are now regarded as acceptable?
On Rosh Hashanah I spoke about our concentric circles of responsibility. Our first responsibility is to ourselves and our families, then to our extended family, our neighborhood, our fellow Jews locally and throughout the world, etc. (Each of us may draw those circles slightly differently but the basic concept remains.) You can’t take care of the whole world unless you first take care of yourself (which is why over the last few months I have devoted so much of my own effort to losing weight and exercising regularly.) The author Rebecca Solnit wrote earlier today:
There is no alternative to persevering, and that does not require you to feel good. You can keep walking whether it's sunny or raining. Take care of yourself and remember that taking care of something else is an important part of taking care of yourself, because you are interwoven with the ten trillion things in this single garment of destiny that has been stained and torn, but is still being woven and mended and washed.
Or as my friend Rabbi Jeffrey Goldwasser wrote:
The assignment is never completed. It also never changes. It is the same today as it was yesterday, and Micah had a pretty good take on it, “Do justice, love goodness, and walk humbly with your God.” Come, my friends, we have work to do.
Tomorrow night our Adult Education classes will resume. I plan to alternate between a text-based class on “Pirkei Avot,” the Mishnaic tractate which provides the ethical basis of our tradition, and occasional classes or discussions on current events or specific topics. Since it has been a long time since we last met and a lot has happened, this Thursday night will be An Opportunity to Process: Israel At War, US Elections, Etc. If you have suggestions for future classes -- either single sessions or longer explorations -- please let me know. My goal is to provide education about things which interest you.
As a reminder, I am having drop-in hours on Thursday afternoons from 2 to 4 at the shul. For my drop-in hours, you do not need to make an appointment -- that would negate the whole point of drop-in hours -- but I’d urge you to check and make sure I am there regardless as sometimes there are unavoidable pastoral or other emergencies which might take me away from the building.
As always, if I can do anything for you or you need to talk, please contact me at rabbi@kehilatshalom.org or 301-977-0768 rather than through the synagogue office. I am happy to meet you at the synagogue by appointment; if you want to speak with me it’s best to make an appointment rather than assuming I will be there when you stop by.
Additionally, if you know of a Kehilat Shalom congregant or another member of our Jewish community who could use a phone call, please let me know.
L’shalom,
Rabbi Charles L. Arian
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